Dissertation on an Estrogen Based Life Form

Read slowly and carefully, I am going to take you deep into the psyche of a Super Heroine known as Techie T, Wonder Wife, Mega Mommy, Stellar Student and occasionally Primary Plebian. From each of these roles stems a super power to be reckoned with, but as in all things the balance in her character comes from equally as powerful weaknesses. The challenge of every new day is to determine which role is on stage, disguise the weaknesses, complete the tasks at hand and remain humble.
The primary superpower of Techie T is processing speed; at 117 words per minute she can execute code faster than a speeding bullet and develop hierarchy that would stop a runaway train. This particular heroic character is highly valuable and plays a part in 5 out of 7 days of the week, sometimes more when there is drama lurking in the workplace. Her uncanny ability to dissect problems and formulate solutions that accommodate every systemic need make her quite the sleuth of the Systems department. The fact that she has been battling with the systems nemeses at this particular venue for almost 20 years has only made her processing faster and her will to succeed that much stronger. In that same vain, her speed and zeal occasionally allow careless errors to give her enemies the edge. She is developing a pre-battle checklist and reviewing her past efforts to find simple ways to improve her techniques without losing her competitive edge.
Wonder Wife and Mega Mommy share many of the same powers and are continually in conflict over who will be the player of the day, but they have mastered the art of compromise when it comes to the home front. Wonder Wife powers up the charge on her super-cooking mechanism (a.k.a. Kitchen-Aid Mixer) while Mega Mommy executes a flawless hip bounce with a 40-pound (4 year old) weight while performing the magical Homework Recollection (Third Grader) Technique on cue. With her typical southern flair, Wonder Wife manages to juggle multiple-tasks and not interfere with Mega Mommy’s amazing accident containment abilities and desire to play with Fisher Price toys. Wonder Wife and Mega Mommy are on call 24/7 and are exceptional at multi-tasking by managing financial, environmental and psychological needs of both her youth and adult subordinates (please make note of the husband reference as a subordinate). The tragic flaw within this team dynamic would be their inability to remember their own needs and their constant self-deprecating attitude. This weakness exposes them to unintentional emotional harm and causes them to hear not the real words spoken from their minions, but to become defensive and take on additional burden. They have inordinate stress levels and are apt to self-destruct at anytime before they reach 40 years of age. Recent studies have been done to find alternative environmental controls and identify sacrifices that must be made to gain control over their internal grumblings.
Stellar Student is a new player that intervenes when necessary on a daily basis. This newly acquired role involves the use of ‘Rapid Read’ and ‘Quick Query’ powers. Luckily, her original design engineers designed her with ‘Laudable Learning’; this causes her to accept givens and absorb new things quickly and adapt to change effectively. The way to defeat Stellar is to play upon her over-committed schedule and inability to say no. She will inexplicably offer more than is needed and still not perceive that as good enough. In this stage, she is vulnerable to emotional attack and mental stress. A new design module must be developed that accommodates no in her vocabulary and a better support system to enhance her abilities and ensure her longevity in this role.
Primary Plebeian is only given the opportunity to use her powers en masse on rare occasions and this minimal use design prevents the other roles from rising up in anarchy and destroying the entire balance of this super-heroine. ‘Inane Burden’ gives Primary the ability to handle valueless tasks for the pleasure of others without complaining and sometimes of voluntary intent. She finds humbling and reverence of life in these tasks and disseminates this stress-free wonder amongst all of her counterparts as often as is necessary to retain their sanity. Some of the amazing things this power allows her to do include counting coins , reading words from the dictionary (in order), rearrange Rubbermaid in the cabinets, attics, closets, etc., determine clothing sequencing for closet maximization, etc.
Overall, the major opportunity to overtake this super-heroine is to play upon her competitive nature. If any of them are not pulling their weight or playing a big enough part to feel like the best, they will be ‘kicked to the curb’ and replaced by a new vision. This change of direction often causes malcontent in the balance of the players and induces a chain reaction of dissension and attrition. Her main challenge to date has been maintaining the morale, empowering her team with the tools to be effective and determining the proper balance so that no one is taken for granted. We suggest a system of checks and balances with input from all of the beneficiaries of her powers as to the prioritization of their needs (wants too).
All of these personalities offer a range of powers including; multi-tasking, efficient learning, commitment, technical aptitude and propensity for social interaction. Her competitive nature and inability to manage stress only contribute to her self-deprecation efforts, but do manage to keep her humble (don’t laugh). She will find balance and satisfaction in her accomplishments someday we are certain.